منوش التاكسي – منوش الجزء 3

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منوش سائق سيارة الأجرة , أو( شوفير التاكسي) كما يصطلح على تسميته . صاحبنا هذا هو من المسحوقين في المجتمع كون مهنته صارت حكراً على أبناء هذه الفئة بفضل سياسة إقتصادية لا يتسع المقام لنقاشها . و بطبيعة الحال فإن حالته المادية تلزمه بإستخدام سيارة (على قد الحال ) و هي من الطراز الأشهر بين أبناء مهنته أي مرسيدس . إلا أن سيارة منوش لا تشبه أي سيارة أخرى , بل تتفرد كصاحبها بمميزاتها الخاصة . يشاع أن سيارة صاحبنا صنعت في ألمانيا أيام العهد النازي , و شهدت الحرب العالمية الثانية تعرضت لما تعرضت له , ​

و خرجت ناجية كي تقع في أوائل السبعينات بين يدي تجار السيارات اللبنانيين الذين غزو بلاد الآريين مع مطلع الحرب الأهلية , و تم إرسال السيارة في رحلة طويلة إلى لبنان حيث تنقلت بين أكثر من مستخدم حتى حطت عزيزة مكرمة بين يدي منوش , كي تكون وسيلته في كسب قوته و قوت عياله . ​

تقف أنت في أمان من الله و عافية منتظراً سيارة تقللك إلى وجهتك التي خرجت تقصدها في ذاك اليوم الأغبر ( اللي مش فايت ) , و بينما أنت كذلك تنقض عليك سيارة منوش كصاعقة لا مفر منها , بعد أن يكون سائقها قد تجاوز كذا سيارة بمهارات في القيادة لا يعرفها إلا هو بعد طول تمرس و تدريب بحكم ضرورات المهنة , و يباغتك منوش بسؤالك عن مقصدك , و بعد جدال بسيط حول كلفة نفلك إليه يدعوك للصعود , فتتاهب لفتح الباب بجانبه لتفاجأ بأنه لا يفتح من الخارج , و أن فتحه يتطلب تدخل منوش شخصياً كي يعالج الأمر من مقر قياجته في داخل السيارة , و في حقيقة الأمر أن هذه خدعة يستعملها صاحبنا للحفاظ على مجاله الحيوي و أمنه القومي . ​

بعد ما يتفضل بفتح الباب لك , تصعد إلى السيارة كي و تشعر فوراً أنك قد غرقت في المقعد الذي خسر على مر الزمن كل خصائصه كمكان صالح للجلوس , و صار أشبه بدوامة تمتص من عليها إلى أسفل , و إذ تتعاضى عن وضعية جلوسك المزعجة تلقي التحية على هذا الذي إبتليت بركوب سيارته , فلا يجيبك و في أحسن الأحوال يجيبك بهمهمة لا يدرك كنهها إلا من كان عارفاً بلغة المنوشيين و خبر التخاطب معهم . ​

طبعاً تشعر أنك قد ( إنفشلت ) و يسري إليك شعور بالضيق , و من سوء حظك ان تكون متجهاً إلى مكان مهم , فحينها ستشعر كما لو أن المكتوب يقرأ من عنوانه و أن بداية مشوارك خيبة ( منيلة بستين نيلة ) . ​

و فيما أنت مستغرق في تفكيرك محاولاً أن تتذكر إن كنت بشكل ما مسؤولاً عن غضب صاحبنا و عبوسه , يتسرب إلى رأسك شعور بالدوار , تكتشف أن مصدره قدمي منوش المكشوفتين . فهو يحتاج إلى حريته و لذلك يخرج إلى عمله منتعلاً ( مشاية ) مكشوفة تمنح لقدميه المتعرقتين إمكانية نشر أبخرتها في جو السيارة , و هي أبخرة متخمرة بحيث أن رائحتها تلقي بثقلها على أنفك مرة واحدة دون أن تترك لك أي مجال للمقاومة . ​

هنا تدرك أنك قد تورطت في مأزق لا مناص منه , و بناء على ذلك تقرر الصبر حتى تصل إلى وجهتك بأقل الأضرار الممكنة , و لكن هيهات , فسرعان ما يبادر منوش إلى إشعال سجارته و غالباً ما تكون من ماركة سيدرز لأسباب إقتصادية معروفة , و يشرع في إلتهامها كأنه ينتقم منها لأمر تجهله تماماً .​

و إن كنت أنت بنفسك من المدخنين تسمح لنفسك بالتدخين طالما أن صاحب الأمر لا يمانع كما هو واضح , فتخرج علبتك ذات الماركة الأجنبية , و ما إن تهم بإشعالها حتى تكتشف أن منوش قادر على التخاطب , إذ يوجه إليك سؤالاً ليس فيه شيء من الإلحاح و لكنه لا يدع لك مجالاً للرد : ” في مجال سيجارة معلم ؟ إنقطعت من الدخان ” و عبثاً تحاول البحث بناظريك عن العلبة التي كان يلتهم منها قبل قليل فلا تجد لها أثراً , منوش يعرف أرض ملعبه جيداً و يجيد فن إلإخفاء فوقه . ​

و حين تلتفت لتناوله مطلبه تلفت نظرك صيحة من آخر صيحات الموضة إبتدعها صاحبنا دوناً عن جميع مصممي الأزياء في العالم , ألا و هي فوطة تلتف حول ياقة قميصه و تغطي رقبته بالكامل , و الرطوبة تنضح منها و تمنحها إصفراراً تكاد يبين عن معاناة تكاد تسمع بسببه هذه الفوطة تستغيث طالبة الفكاك من أسر قميص منوش و ترسبات رقبته . ​

يشعل سيجارته بطريقة فنية ماهرة , و إذ تراقبه ينفث دخانها في كل إتجاه تلحظ أن شاربه قد إستحال أصفر اللون لكثرة تدخينه , ثم تلحظ تداخلاً بينه و بين الشعر المنبثق من أنفه في إندفاعة نحو الحرية , فتشيح ناظريك نزولاً لتجد أن شعر لحيته هو الآخر متصل بشعر بدنه , فتعجز عن التعليق و تكتفي بأن تقدر هذا التواصل و التلاحم حق قدره .​

ثم يلمع في ذهنك سؤال يلح عليك بالإجابة : كيف يقوم منوش بحلاقة لحيته , و كيف يفصل الحدود المتداخلة ؟ و بينما تحير في أمر هذه المعضلة يقفز ذهنك إلى مسألة ترسيم الحدود في مزارع شبعا , و تغوص في تفاصيل الحياة السياسية , و لكنك و بكل إصرار و حزم تلزم الصمت , فأنت حتماً لا ترغب في التعرف إلى مهارات منوش في التحليل السياسي كونك تدرك أن هذا خطأ مميت . ​

تصل إلى وجهتك و تترجل من السيارة راجياً أن لا تقابل منوشاً آخر في طريق العودة , و تحرص على تفحص كل سيارة أجرة و سائقها جيداً قبل إتخاذ قرار الركوب . و بالفعل تنجو من تجربة أخرى , و تظفر بسيارة عادية يقودها سائق عادي , و فيم أنت في طريق عودتك , تلفت نظرك على جانب الطريق سيارة منوش مركونة على الرصيف , و هو غارق تحت غطائها الأمامي يحاول فك لغز العطل الذي أصابها . ​

و تتذكر أنه كان قد نخر أذنيك طوال الطريق و هو يخبرك عما بها و يصب جام غضبه على الميكانيكيين و يشتمهم بألفاظ و عبارات لم تكن تعرف أنها موجودة في اللغة , أو لعلها ليست موجودة فعلاً و لكن منوش قد إبتكر معجمه الحاص . ​

و لا شعورياً تتعاطف معه و تستشيط بدورك غضباً من الميكانيكيين و أفعالهم , فعقلك الباطن قد تشرب من منوش أنهم أشرار , و تبدأ بشتم كل أصحاب ورش السيارات و محال قطع الغيار و من لف لفهم حتى تقفز إلى بالك صورة منوش الميكانيكي . ​و هذا الأخير هو رجل و لا كل الرجال , نتطرق إليه في الحلقة المقبلة

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