منوش العراف A

منوش المنجم أو العراف هو صنف آخر من الشخصيات المنوشية , و بات منتشراً في المجتمع كالفطريات في الآونة الأخيرة . 
بالأصل هو متسول عتيق و شحاذ مخضرم , يستجدي الناس قوت يومه , يفترش الأرصفة و يلتحف السماء , و قد لبث على هذه الحال فترة ليست بالقصيرة , و انزوى على هامش الحياة حتى كاد الزمن يمحو ذكره و يطوي صفحته . لكن من رحم هذه المعضلة التي كان يعيشها انبلج ضوء فكرة قد تنتشله من الحضيض و تضع مسيرته على سكة الثراء السريع . 
فذات ليلة , و بينما كان المتشرد يهيم على وجهه في أزقة المدينة يبحث عن قوته , وقع نظره على كتاب ملقى في مستوعب للنفايات عرفاناً من صاحبه بقيمة الكتب . و خطر له أنه لم يكن في يوم من الأيام رجل فكر أو ثقافة , و لم تكن المطالعة من هواياته أو اهتماماته . و حدق جيداً بالكتاب فإذا هو كتاب يعنى بالأبراج و أمور الفلك و ما شابه , فلمعت في ذهنه فكرة , و أضاء ذاك المصباح الشهير فوق رأسه . 
لما لا يمتهن التنجيم و علم العرافة و الروحانيات و الغيبيات , و قد أصبحت هذه مهنة كل متبطل و صنعة كل عاطل عن العمل . ثم إنه لا يضيره مستواه الفكري و الثقافي المتدني , فهو رجل صاحب تجربة في الحياة , و التجارب أكبر معلم و أجدى من كل مدرسة . و قطعاً لو تفكر في تجربته و عصر أفكاره و مشاعره فلا بد أن يخرج منها بحكمة و آراء تضعه في مصاف المفكرين , و تثبت له قدماً على خارطة المشايخ الروحانيين و أصحاب علم الغيب . 
و لا حاجة به للمعرفة بالدين , فهو سوف يبتعد عن الخوض بهذه الأمور , و لو حشره أحد السمجين بسؤال ما فيمكنه دائماً الإجابة بعبارات مبهمة تريحه من الإحراج و تعلم السائل ألا يكرر سؤاله مرة أخرى . 
كما أن هذه الفكر و الثقافة و المعرفة بالدين ليست من متطلبات عمله , فالأصل أن يخبر بالغيب و يستجلب الرزق و يفك المربوط و يزيل النحس و يجعل العانس عروساً و العاقر ولوداً و المخصي فحلاً و ما إلى ذلك من إعجازات يتفرد بها أصحاب اللقب المعظم : عالم روحاني . 
ثم إستغرق منوش في أفكاره برهة , و أخذته أحلام اليقظة إلى تصور نفسه و قد ذاع صيته و صار إسمه على كل لسان و الناس تتقاطر عليه من كل حدب و صوب , تطلب بركته و ترجو كرامته . 
و النساء ,” ياااا لهوووووووووووووي “, سيرى و يستقبل نساء أكثر من عدداً من شعرات رأسه , و كلهن سوف يكن تحت سطوته و طوع بنانه . 
قرر أن يكف عن البحث عن لقمة ما في تلك الليلة , فأمامه غداً يوم طويل من العمل إستعداداً لمهنته الجديدة , و لذلك يلزمه أن يجهد أولاً في التسول لمرة أخيرة كي يجمع رأسمال يعينه على إطلاق المشروع و يؤمن له “عدة الشغل ” . سوف يستعطي لمرة أخيرة , و بعدها على الشوارع السلام . 
و بالفعل فقد كد منوش في اليوم التالي في عمله , و لم يدخر جهداً إلا و بذله لتليين قلوب المارة و فتح الطريق إلى ما حوته جيوبهم عله ينال من الطيب نصيباً و يشارك الناس أرزاقها . 
تفنن في إبتكار الأدعية و الصلوات , و حاول قدر الإمكان أن يكون صوته خافتاً رقيقاً حنوناً , فيه من الإنكسار و المسكنة جرعات وافية . مارس أشد صنوف الإلتصاق و التعلق و التعقب على كل عابر سبيل , ومن لم يدفع له رغبة بذلك , إضطر أن يدفع له كي “يحل عن سما ربه ” . 
أسدل الليل ستارة ظلامه , و توارى منوش عن أعين الفضوليين في زقاق ضيق لا يدخله إلا هو و الكلاب و صاحب حاجة يقضيها . و أخذ يحصي ما “لطشه” من الناس . لسوء حظه تبين أن المبلغ لا يفي بالغرض فما كان قد خطط له أثناء دوامه النهاري يحتاج إلى أكثر من هذا . لذا سوف يتوجب عليه العمل بضة أيام إضافية , و لا مشكلة في ذلك فهذه المدة ستمنح لحيته طولاً إضافياً تحتاجه المهنة العتيدة . و هكذا كان . 
بعد أيام معدودة إتصفت بالإبداع في أساليب التسول و تخللها تقشف شديد , تمكن منوش من جمع ما يحتاجه من رأسمال , و صار جاهزاً للمباشرة بإعداد خطته الجهنمية . و كانت خطوته الأولى هي ما سنراه في المقالة القادمة

105 تعليقات


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